Breadstix has closed and Santana says one final goodbye.

“Don’t you have any wishes that you would really, really want to come true?” Brittany asked Santana, staring at her across the table at breadstix.

Santana let her eyes drop down to the table, as if she was thinking, as if she was shy. But all she could do was stare at the lettuce on Brittany’s place - the rich green leaves, that reminded her of her heart’s one true desire.  Not to be here, holding hands with Brittany - to be outside, ensconced in the welcoming branches and twigs of her true love.

“Yeah I do,” she replied, frowning, wondering if now was the right time to tell Brittany of her botany fetish.  But no - it’s not the right time, she realised, as she looked up at Brittany. She wouldn’t understand. Not now, maybe not ever.

So she made up a story about joining the other showchoir, and tried to not let her eyes drift back to the plate, to the lettuce, to the pale imitation of what she really wanted. Sort of like her relationship with Brittany.

One day, she promised herself. One day, she’d be an out-and-proud Shrubsexual.  But today, she just wasn’t strong enough.

She tried not to cry as Brittany scarfed down the lettuce in one mouthful.

klipples:

The older Santana got, the more her idea of falling in love changed. When she was young, she had expected that it would be with a man.  Then, puberty hit and she was attracted to girls.  She slowly came to terms with the idea that, when it did happen for her, it would be with a woman. It was hard and it was confusing, but over time she made peace with it.

And then things changed again.  She was more confused than ever. Who had ever heard of falling in love with a dream? But there it was, every night - Santana and that big, beautiful shrub.  She’d wake up with a feeling of happiness that she’d never felt before, and would lay in bed as long as possible, replaying the images over and over in her mind, until inevitably she had to get up and face the real world.  At first, she had thought it was a fluke, a one off, but then the dreams became more and more frequent, until they were every night.

The happiness soon gave way to angst, when she realised that she was living in the dreams, not in real life - that the shrub she saw in her dreams wasn’t real. What they had wasn’t real.

Sometimes, when she was driving around, she’d take detours, to the more suburban areas of Lima, where houses were lined with gardens.  She’d make sure no one was around, and then drive along the streets slowly, looking at each garden in turn, searching for a shrub, THE shrub, the one from her dreams.

Sometimes she thought she saw it out of the corner of her eye, but when she whipped her head around, it wasn’t quite right. It wasn’t green enough, or too green. It wasn’t leafy enough, tall enough, wide enough.  It wasn’t the shrub from her dream, the only shrub, the only thing, she could ever love with all her heart.

When everyone started talking about where they would go to college, Santana said she wanted to go somewhere in New England.  Everyone was surprised, expecting that she would say New York or California.  She made excuses, made up reasons why. She couldn’t tell them that it was because there was so much more greenery there, so many possible shrubs, that could be the one.  She couldn’t tell them, not yet, not until she’d found it.

And she hoped she would find it, soon, because the loneliness was breaking her heart.  But until then, she still had her dreams.

dayglobetty replied to your photoset

How did the shrubtana thing start? I swear I’m so confused by it. xoxo

“I once had a dream about a shrub that was just in the shape of a person.”

It was that moment that we learnt what love truly meant for Santana. She wants - nay deserves - a love story that dreams are made of. She’s so angry all the time because she’s settling when she should be reaching out and embracing everything that life has to offer.

One day Santana will realise that dreams really do come true.

Well first of all I agree. Stixtana shouldn’t be shipped as a couple. I hate Stixtana.

But Shrubtana? That’s what dreams are made of. Literally.

How can you look at that and not see the beauty?

Ok. I’m really invested in this so it might get a little long.

You see, I feel like while Santana is really passionate about Breadstix it’s not really a very healthy relationship. They provide short term nourishment for one another, sure, but at the end of the day Santana is using Breadstix. Their relationship is shallow at best.

The way I see it, Santana uses Breadstix as a way to move onto other relationships. She’ll pop in and out but she’s never fully committed. Remember all those scenes at the Lima Bean? I thought so.

But Santana’s not the only one to blame. Breadstix doesn’t care one ounce about Santana unless she comes cash in hand. It’s appalling. Worse still is how Santana abuses this as though she has a right to more just because Breadstix is what some might call a ‘whore’.

Ugh. It makes me so mad.

I just wish that Santana would see that she and Breadstix need to stop using one another.  It’s not right and it sends a bad message to the audience.

One day Santana will wake up and realise that she can’t let these unhealthy relationships hold her back. She needs to follow what’s in her dreams.

And by that I mean Shrubtana.